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The Power of Alone Time

01/14/2025

Parenting Our Children

The Power of Alone Time

Helping Children Grow Through Solitude

Parents often think back on their own childhoods when deciding how best to raise their children. For many, those memories are from a time before the internet, cell phones, and social media - when quiet, unstructured moments were simply a part of life. Those same parents recall long swaths of time spent alone, finding creative ways to stave off boredom and learning to enjoy their own company. Today, however, in a world filled with digital distractions and tightly scheduled activities, it can be challenging to know how much time children should be left to themselves.

Although spending quality time with children is among the most critical things parents can do to make them feel safe and loved, it’s equally important to prepare them for independence by letting them build independence. Giving children time alone—free from structured activities or external input—helps foster self-reliance, creativity, and emotional resilience.

In an age when many parents feel compelled to fill every moment of their child’s day with lessons, practices, or playdates, alone time often gets overlooked. Yet, as experts point out, this constant stimulation may have unintended consequences. According to a story in Psychology Today, “Overindulging kids with scheduled time and constant parental attention is akin to spoiling them rotten with material goods.” The article explains that when children don’t have the opportunity to figure out how to entertain themselves, they risk becoming overly dependent on external guidance and losing touch with their own inner creativity and problem-solving abilities.

The benefits of alone time can go far beyond filling an idle hour. Research shows that such time is essential for a child’s development. “Alone time is not time spent unsupervised, necessarily,” Psychology Today notes. “Instead, alone time is time a son or daughter uses to learn how to entertain themselves or just relax, without help or input from parents, siblings, friends, or babysitters.” In these moments of solitude, children develop independence, emotional regulation, and the ability to adapt to different situations.

Faith Hill, writing in The Atlantic, highlights the discomfort many adults feel when they see a child alone. “Although they dwell on whether kids have too much alone time, adults don’t tend to consider whether kids have enough of it,” she writes. However, psychologists agree that solitary moments provide a fertile environment for children to grow. Whether it’s a younger child quietly playing alone or an older child retreating for introspection, time spent alone allows for crucial developmental processes that can’t occur when children are constantly engaged with others.

Like with many things in the development of children, the need for balance is important. Children shouldn’t always spend their days rushing from one scheduled activity to the next, only to collapse into bed, exhausted. As a blog post on Parent.com explains, “Children need alone time every day to recharge and renew their spirits, and so do we.” These moments offer kids the freedom to create, think, and act according to their own rhythms rather than following a schedule prescribed by others.

Incorporating alone time into a child’s day doesn’t mean abandoning them or leaving them unsupervised. It means carving out a window where they can explore their thoughts, interests, and creativity without interference. As Psychology Today suggests, parents can normalize this practice by framing it as “special time” for everyone in the family. While parents catch up on reading or gardening, children can choose how to spend their time within reasonable boundaries. This shift in perspective helps children view time spent by themselves not as a punishment but as an opportunity to grow, relax, and discover who they are.

Providing children with time to be alone is another important development principle that should go along with love, guidance, and social interaction. These moments are when many kids learn to navigate their inner world, develop their sense of independence, and use curiosity to shape their future selves. In a fast-paced world, the gift of solitude may be one of the most valuable lessons parents can give their children—a lesson that will help them to thrive both now and in the future.