
All of your daughter's classmates in sixth (or as early as fourth!) grade seem to have a smartphone and she constantly asks you and the gods of technology for one. Your son hits middle school and declares it a prerequisite for academic success. But while about half of children in the United States own a smartphone by age 11, is your child really ready for a device that's often addictive even for parents? Before making a decision, consider their level of responsibility to determine readiness.
Postpone, Buy or Compromise: In the article "Is my child ready for a smart phone?" by Clevelandclinic.org, pediatrician David Hornick advises parents to wait until children are ages 12-14, depending on maturity level and engagement in lessons, sports or other extracurriculars.
For those on the go from karate to soccer, it can boost their confidence in being able to contact parents. "If your kid has steady access to the internet at home and at school and they're following the rules when utilizing these tools, the chances of them using a smartphone effectively are high," he says. "For kids younger than 12, or kids that spend a lot of time at home and aren't quite as independent, a regular phone that just allows a child to call or text might be the best way to go until they're older or getting out of the house more often."
The article "Your child's first phone: are they ready?" by healthychildren.org stresses the importance of a child's ability to think before acting. For those not ready, smartphones could discourage other activities like face to face conversation, homework, sports, and sleep. "Do they need your help with making good decisions or do you trust their judgement when they are unsupervised? This becomes important to consider once they have access to the internet, texting, and social media apps and can easily say or post things online they may regret."
Pass the Cell Test: A 10-question tool on cell phone readiness gives results, next steps, and resources to activate parental control settings. For those not ready, consider a starter-phone such as a flip phone or a watch to communicate for safety in emergencies. Or help children connect with friends in other ways through extracurriculars and video chat or text messaging on the iPad or tablet. The Children's Trust offers an extensive directory of local after-school programs and camps for enrichment and social development.
Common Sense Media gives other questions to consider such as whether the child tends to lose things or follow instructions. Do they need it for a safety reason or will it help them socially? "How closely will they follow the boundaries you've set for when, where, and how long they can use their phone?"
Craft a Family Phone Plan: Dr. Hornick suggests parents allow a child to use no more than two platforms and create phone free zones. Can your child handle a dinner at the restaurant without retreating to Instagram? "Create a contract together on rules and expectations for the smart phone in advance to hold each other accountable," Dr. Hornick advises. "Making sure you're sitting down and ensuring your child understands these things will help you make that decision as to whether your child can have a smart phone or not."
Cleveland Clinic advises parents to keep reinforcing limits after allowing a phone, like the dangers of sending explicit texts or images and communicating with strangers. "Parents have to be on top of things and they have to be willing to mitigate situations as they happen," says Dr. Hornick.
Set Benchmarks: Healthychildren.org advises to talk with the child about good digital citizenship and create benchmarks to show they are being safe and kind on their new device. How will your child respond when a group text turns to name-calling a classmate? Also use parental controls, settings, filters, and other digital wellness tools available - and model yourself smartphone moderation. "Set these up together with your child and explain the reasons behind the limits and controls you choose for your child's cell phone," it says. " As your child shows more responsibility, they could gain more independence and fewer controls."